So I hadn’t written anything for two years. Writer’s block. Fuck, that’s a bitch! Don’t ever do it if you can help it.
When I did pick back up, I started back on the faery story I’m working on. (Just so we’re clear, “In the Dark” is my first novel, about vampires. “Othersight” is my second novel, about ghosts. I hate it. I had started working on a sequel to “In the Dark,” working title “Vampire Sequel” (Really great title, huh?!), which I never finished. I am presently in the middle of a faery story, working title “Otherrealm”.)
When I crawled out of my cave and found out that e-books are the hottest thing in publishing right now, I said to myself, “Self, you tried self-publishing, and it went okay. Your biggest problem was distribution and being taken seriously by strangers. This e-book thing surpasses those problems! Pull out “In the Dark” and have a look at it! Put it out there!”
So I did. Have a look, I mean, it’s still not out there.
I found the first 95 pages kind of boring, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. After that the plot picked up, but it still took me two months to edit the thing. I figured I would ask my beta readers to tell me why my own work was boring me. Maybe they would be able to tell me, being a step removed from the work.
“In the Dark” properly edited, I pulled out my unfinished sequel, “Vampire Sequel.”
Now, I had decided not to finish it when my contract for “In the Dark” with my POD company ran out. I realized that no publisher would take that series seriously ever again since I had self-published it, and decided to give up on those characters entirely. This made me sad, but I saw how it just wouldn’t work any more. Self-publishing was the kiss of death, and I had kissed all my vampires with it. With this e-book business, though, I could possibly resurrect the whole series, thus making it worth my while to finish my unfinished sequel.
HOLY SHIT.
From word one I was hooked. The pacing was snappy, the characters smart and witty, the plot interesting and sexy. I wrote that? Seriously? Did aliens invade my brain and turn me into a real writer while I was asleep? Did a ghost inhabit my body and tell my sequel to me? What happened?
Instantly, I could see EXACTLY why “In the Dark” had been such a snorefest. I will share with you, if you want to know.
It’s because after years of practice, I indeed had become a better writer. 1. I knew how to describe something briefly and snappily. 2. I knew how to push dramatic tension higher and higher, increment by increment. 3. And, this last part is mysterious to me, I am funnier and wittier writing than I am speaking. My blog is funnier than I really am. My texts are funnier. My FB page is funnier. In real life I kind of smile politely like I’m not getting the joke, which mostly I’m not, and come up with clever retorts DAYS after something is said to me. Sometimes years. No, really. YEARS. When one character says something, though, I instantly know what the other should reply. And . . . it works. Not just I think it works, it really works.
So suddenly I knew what had to change about “In the Dark.” And I knew I had to start editing all over from the beginning. Mostly, I had to cut shit out. I had started editing with the goal of cutting %10. (Stephen King’s book “On Writing” says that a final draft = rough draft – %10. Hence, my goal.) I met that goal and then some. My new goal is . . . I don’t know. I don’t think you can put a percentage mark on how much shit fills a rough draft, especially a first rough draft. Is it %10? %15? It’s shit and it needs to go, that’s what I know. I have burned through 100 pages in 5 days as of now. 175 to go, 6 more pages cut so far.
My only lingering fear is that I’ve lost it. I wrote “In the Dark” and had started on “Othersight” before “In the Dark” was totally edited (the first time). I started on the sequel that so blew me away before I had finished editing “Othersight.” I had been writing almost every day non-stop for almost ten years. More if you count the bizarre crap I started with as a teenager, which I suppose I should because it WAS practice.
So does two years of writer’s block set me back? If so, how far? Pretty far, if I couldn’t even tell why “In the Dark” was boring me. That scares me a little. I don’t know if I feel like the same woman who wrote “Vampire Sequel.” I don’t know if I can finish it with the same pizzaz I started it with. I hope so. I mean, I guess I MUST be capable, but will I be capable in the next few weeks?
Fret, fret, worry, worry . . .
My only option, really, is to keep writing.
