When I was about 13 or 14 years old, I decided I wanted to be musical.
My best friend at the time played guitar, and I knew my father did and my mom used to sing in a band. I figured I could do it, I just needed to figure out what I wanted to do. (This was during my home-school years, so joining school band and playing clarinet like they told me to wasn’t an option.)
First I tried piano. I was terrible. And being terrible totally dissuaded me from keeping it up. I tried, I really tried, but teaching yourself with no resources isn’t exactly easy.
I tried guitar. I was terrible. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And then I tried singing. And even though I was terrible, something about it just felt good. I felt like I could keep doing it and get better. So I sang. And sang. And sang.
I sang off-key. I sang flat. I sang the wrong words. I sang while washing dishes, I sang while vacuuming, I sang with headphones on, I sang on walks. I sang my heart out.
Of course my mom, who had done this semi-professionally, had opinions on my singing. Which is part of how I know I was off-key and flat.
And finally, after she yelled at me that I was super off-key for the fiftieth time, I said, “Well, how am I supposed to get better then? How do I fix that I’m off key? How do I sing decent?”
She stopped for a moment, really considered, and said, “You just keep singing. Don’t listen to what other people say, don’t listen to me. Listen to how you sound, listen to singers you admire and really pay attention, and keep singing.”
I had to grin, like the smart-ass thirteen-year-old I was. “You’re going to regret giving me that advice.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “I know. But you asked, and that’s the answer. Just keep doing it.”
So I did. Mom did regret giving me that advice, but she never took it back. She still critiqued my constant singing, sometimes as a real critique meant to help; sometimes as a tired, stressed-out mom who’d had enough of the racket. But she never told me she had been wrong and I needed to stop. She agreed that I needed to keep doing it if I wanted to get better.
These days, I get lots of compliments on my singing. “So confident!” “Such a strong voice!” “You ought to sing more, you’ve got a great voice!”
And you know what? That advice has come in handy for so many other things in my life.
Don’t listen to people judging you. Don’t listen to people telling you you’re bad at something, or to stop, or that you’re annoying. The only way you can get good at anything you care about is to suck at it and annoy the people around you and keep doing it.
I still don’t play piano. I still don’t play guitar. This post isn’t about pushing on with things you just aren’t enjoying. But if something feels right, if something gives you joy just doing it, if something matters to you, keep doing it.
It’s the only way to get better. And you will get better.
Stick to it.
