Sorry about that. I’ve been rather busy.
I’ve decided that while writing is still my main passion in life, being self-employed is a big deal. So I started a small business. 4, in fact, if you include indie publishing. I takes a lot out of a person to run a couple of small businesses and also try to maintain a few hours a week at a day job to make sure bills get paid while small businesses incubate.
It’s all going all right, but it does mean that some things have been pushed by the wayside — I haven’t ridden my horse in far too long, and while I am still writing, it’s at a slower pace. I’m often running my ass off all over the place taking care of various errands, and when I do get a minute, I’m either all over the internet trying to accomplish some stuff there or I’m just vegging out because my brain is fried.
I just got over another slump of defeatist depression as well — apparently, this is reeeeeeaaaally normal for entrepreneurs of all stripes. When sales go okay, it’s exciting and you feel like what you’re doing is really working, and when sales are bad, you wind up feeling like you’re a total failure and need to give up at once. This is almost certainly what defeats a lot of people from being successful. I’m trying not to give in to those defeated feelings, but it’s hard. Especially since I ran my first paid ad with “A Dark and Twisting Road,” and I sold 2 books. 2. $20 spent, $4 earned back. That hurt. That hurt a lot. I’ve done some digging into it and I think I know what went wrong, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.
It doesn’t help that I head out to local craft fairs to peddle my books, and people want to know if they can just go to the library and read my book for free, or they say “I’ll look for it” and walk off. Um, it’s right here. I’m right here. Even when I say, “well, I’m an independent, so you won’t find it elsewhere,” they look confused and leave empty-handed anyway. I don’t know if people know how that hurts. I’m not offended if folks say the genre’s not their thing, or they just don’t read, that’s fine, I get it, my book isn’t for everyone, it never could be. It just hurts when someone says, “Oh, this looks like just my kind of book!” and then they walk off. Really? It takes a lot to keep going sometimes. I won’t give up, but this kind of thing makes it hard to keep trying real hard.
At any rate, this is just a note to check in, say hey, let folks know I’m still here, still shaking, still writing, haven’t forgotten my blog or my 3 fans. I love you 3, by the way.
